Vogler's return
by T.M.K.06
Summary: Could it be a dream come true? Vogler is back but not as before, though he still wants something from PPTH. Does he have what it takes for him to get it? Oneshot.


**Vogler's return**

_Could it be a dream come true? Vogler is back but not as before, though he still wants something from PPTH. Does he have what it takes for him to get it? One-shot. (Spelling error of "Volger" corrected 2/5/07 - typed the original too fast!)_

"House," Wilson popped his head into the exam room where House was telling a mother that the symptoms her baby had were not indicative of anything but a cold. "Cuddy wants you in her office right now."

"Ok," House agreed for once being happy to be summoned. "Bed-rest and liquids that is all that is needed. Got to go."

House limped into Cuddy's office at his best lingering speed. Sure he was happy to leave the clinic but he still needed some time to try and figure out which one of his recent actions was responsible for this summons. He couldn't come up with anything.

"You called mistress?" House trilled to Cuddy as he closed the door behind him.

"I have a case for you," Cuddy said reading a file on her desk. She did not look up and House thought she looked even more apprehensive than normally when she was trying to force him into taking a case that didn't really need his skills. Apparently she had found a hypochondriac donor and House was the one who had to swallow the pill that came with whatever humongous amount of money was promised. Well, he probably would cave in – he did owe Cuddy both because of that hundred million he had lost the hospital couple of years back over the Vogler debacle and for her perjury just recently – but he would go down fighting!

"Someone important has eaten bad sushi again? Sorry, but you don't really need me for that," House snarked.

"Food poisoning has been ruled out. As has appendicitis, acute abdomen, ulcers, ileitis and seemingly dozen other things. The patient has seen ten doctors in as many days and been in two other hospitals. All others have been stumped, we are his last chance," Cuddy told him, still not looking up.

"Ten doctors in ten days? That sounds like someone doesn't have a lot of trust in doctors. I can relate to that, I suppose, but it's still rather stupid to change your doctor just because he didn't get the diagnosis right the first time. I can't guarantee that I get it right the first time either so do you have doctor number 12 lined up, or what is the deal?" House asked.

"He is in no condition to change doctors or hospitals anymore. You are it," Cuddy finally looked up. "He was not happy to end up here, especially as your patient, but you are his last chance. You took an oath when you became a doctor and I am holding you to it now."

"He must be a really big donor for you to go to these lengths to make me take the case," House mused. "Usually you just rattle off some interesting symptoms and then tell me to take it. Now you are almost kissing my ass first and then threatening me. Interesting. What is the big catch?"

"I need your word that you will take the case first," Cuddy insisted.

"Ok, if that is what it takes," House agreed – too easily in Cuddy's opinion, but she really had no choice.

"It's Vogler," Cuddy finally revealed.

"I'm not touching him," House immediately responded.

"You just promised!" Cuddy reminded him.

"Had my fingers crossed!" House shrugged. "I don't deny that I used to dream of having him as a patient and diagnosing him with something fatal, but chances are it's something curable and I don't want to cure him."

"House! Does it really matter that it's him?" Cuddy asked. "Or at least does it matter that much? It's still a puzzle. And you get to show him that he was wrong in trying to get rid of you. I mean where would he be now if he had managed to destroy you? Don't you want to rub his nose in that?"

"That is tempting," House agreed. "But I don't think it is tempting enough."

"Please, won't you at least see him? Read his file," Cuddy was practically begging. "I promise you we will charge him through the nose for every test and treatment you can come up with. Think of the hospital, what this would mean to our reputation."

"Fine," House relented a little. "I will see him and I will give his file to my minions. I don't promise anything, but I will think about it. Besides, it's possible that my team can diagnose him even without me."

"Thank you, House," Cuddy said, though she was not happy but she knew even this was quite a victory under the circumstances.

------------------

House read the file on his way to Vogler's room, once there he walked in without knocking. Edward Vogler was still a big man, ten days of ailing had not shrunk him, but it had not agreed with him either. He looked worn, tired and just plain sick as a horse. House didn't feel even a twinge of sympathy.

"If only this turns out to be something fatal, then all my dreams have come true," House cheerfully announced as he limped to stand at the foot of Vogler's bed.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me here," Vogler growled.

"Actually not," House told him. "Seeing you again is actually on the top of my list of things I never want to do. But unfortunately Cuddy can sometimes make me do things that I really don't want to do, so here I am, seeing you again."

"You could not resist the puzzle," Vogler assumed.

"True, this is somewhat interesting," House nodded.

"So you are taking the case," Vogler stated.

"No," House denied. "I agreed to pass you on to my minions. If I have trained them well, they may figure out what is wrong with you, but it's by no means certain."

"Is that what you came to tell me?" Vogler glared. "Even though you find my case interesting you will not take it?"

"Yep, pretty much," House admitted, "though the chance to gloat did play a part, too. You tried to get rid of me, you tried to destroy this hospital, and now you find that we are your last chance to stay alive. So where would you be had you succeeded in your plan? The irony is almost unbearably sweet and trust me I am savouring it to the full."

"Are you not in the least curious about what this is? Ten doctors have failed; doesn't your ego demand that you solve this puzzle?" Vogler tried to persuade House.

"Well, it is a puzzle," House agreed. "But I am in no hurry trying to solve it. Normally I prefer to find the answer when the patient is still alive, but in your case I'm willing to wait for the autopsy. In fact, I will even perform the autopsy myself. It will be a pleasure."

"You have no pity to a man who is probably dying?" Vogler pronounced bitterly.

"You had no pity for my dying patients," House pointed out. "Why do you expect any other treatment for yourself? Or didn't you learn to _do unto others_ and all that?"

"If all you came here to do is to torment me, you can leave," Vogler told him.

"Now, now," House admonished, "that is no way to try and make me change my mind about treating you. Surely you can do better. I'm fairly sure you did better before."

"What is it you want," Vogler asked.

"50" House stated simply.

"50 what?"

"50 million," House clarified.

"You want me to pay you 50 million dollars to take my case?" Vogler nearly shouted.

"I would have thought your life was worth at least that much to you," House shrugged.

"You are a doctor," Vogler insisted. "You cannot deny treatment and then demand a bribe to do your job."

"I'm not denying you any treatment," House reminded him. "There are plenty of doctors in this hospital and my team is among the best. I have no problem with them treating you. It's just me who will not touch your case unless you pay up. And if you think to appeal to my morals or ethics or humanity, don't bother. I'm pretty low on those qualities even at the best of times, with you, - well, let's just say this is not even close to best of times."

"Fine, I'll pay you, but don't expect not to get in trouble because of it," Vogler agreed.

"Oh, no, I don't want your money," House laughed. "No, I want you to donate 50 million to this hospital, with no strings attached, no chance to recall the money or in any way tell us what we can do with it. Just plain cash-in-hand donation."

"You mean that if I do that, you will treat me?" Vogler was puzzled.

"Yep," House confirmed. "As soon as that money is in Cuddy's greedy little hands, I'm putting solving your case on the top of my priority list. Until then, your care will be in the hands of my minions. In fact, I think I will give this case to Chase since you two got along so well the last time you were here."

With that House left Vogler to his own devices.

-----------------------------

House walked into the diagnostics conference room where his ducklings were all waiting for him to find a case.

"Good news kiddies! We have a case," House announced as he arrived. "And the best part of it is that it's so simple that you can start on it all on your own."

"You are giving us a case?" Foreman wondered.

"Sure, why not," House shrugged. "I think you are good enough for this patient."

"So it's not a puzzle?" Cameron asked with a frown.

"Well ten doctors have not been able to figure out what is wrong with him," House stated.

"So why aren't you interested in it?" Chase asked.

"Cause I just don't like the patient," House revealed.

"You have met the patient?" Foreman wondered.

"Yep," House said. "He is someone we all know from way back. Especially you, Chase."

"Me?" Chase questioned. "What do you mean?"

"Edward Vogler has decided to grace us with his presence one more time," House told them. "And chances are that this is his last visit, anywhere."

"He is dying!" Cameron exclaimed.

"That seems to be the consensus right now," House agreed. "It's like a dream come true. Poetic justice, karma, the works."

"You cannot just let him die, no matter how much you hate him!" Foreman exclaimed. "You treat felons, convicted murderers you have treated the mafia and what not. You have to treat Vogler like any other patient, too. You are a doctor, for God's sake."

"I don't want to treat any other patients either," House pointed out. "So in that sense he is just like any other. Besides, I'm not denying him treatment, just not treating him myself."

"So we are taking this case, and you just sit in the sidelines and watch us?" Chase asked. "Are you betting on the outcome, too?"

"Probably," House said. "But I can't do that until you have started. So go, Chase, see the patient and start taking his history and blood and whatever else you can think of to do to him. And don't worry about the cost he can afford to pay for all and any tests you can think of."

"Why me!" Chase protested.

"Because he was your bestest buddy the last time he was here," House explained. "I may dislike the man, but hey, he is dying. It would be just cruel to deprive him of your company."

"Fine," Chase snapped and left to take the history and draw some blood.

----------

Later that day Cuddy summoned House to her office again. She was pacing in her office with a puzzled look on her face, staring at a piece of paper in her hand.

"House," she said as soon as House got in. "Did you have something to do with this?"

"With what?" House asked.

"Vogler has just donated 50 million dollars to this hospital, with no strings attached. We got cash in hand, outright, no ifs, buts or maybes. No conditions, no instructions as to what to do with it, just the money, right here."

"I may have suggested to him that I would perform better if you were happier with me," House prevaricated.

"Right! that does sound just like you" Cuddy doubted. "You blackmailed him, didn't you?"

"Does it matter?" House asked. "You have the money and I have the cure."

"You have the cure!" Cuddy exclaimed. "You know what is wrong with him?"

"I don't have the test results yet, but given his symptoms, the history he gave us and the treatments the previous doctors tried I'd say he has invasive anisakiasis." House stated.

"Parasites from eating raw fish? That's it? Ten doctors, two hospitals and you are telling me that all he has is parasites?"

"Well, you know how hard it is to diagnose bad sushi," House shrugged.


End file.
